


Godspeed, My Love

by WhyAreAllUsernamesTaken



Series: We either make it, or break it. [17]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: (I've reached a point where I'm just looking for tags), Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Childhood Friends, Han Jisung | Han is Whipped, Hurt No Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, Implied Sexual Content, Lee Minho | Lee Know is Whipped, Lee Minho | Lee Know-centric, M/M, Prince Lee Minho | Lee Know, Sad, Sad Han Jisung | Han, Sad Lee Minho | Lee Know, Secret Relationship, There's A Tag For That
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24651799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyAreAllUsernamesTaken/pseuds/WhyAreAllUsernamesTaken
Summary: ‘’I’ll miss you,’’ Jisung whispers and Minho actually winces by the pure pain dripping off the words and he buries his head into the younger’s thigh even more, ‘’I love you,’’It’s incredibly unfair for Jisung to say something like that even though it’s completely justified.He hears Jisung let out a shaky sigh and the fingers suddenly disappear from his hair. Minho looks up and sees Jisung looking down on him with a fake smile and the older smiles back just as fabricated.----------Lee Minho, the third prince, gets send off to get married to someone that isn't Jisung, the second son of the general. It's a long trip, one Minho has managed to drag Jisung into, and having the younger escort him to his new home is both a blessing and a curse.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Series: We either make it, or break it. [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1439083
Comments: 6
Kudos: 92





	Godspeed, My Love

**Author's Note:**

> I was actually trying to finish up two Monsta X oneshots at the same time (god forbid I actually make progress with my ongoing chaptered fics that have been on hold for forever) but then it started raining and autoplay gifted me some beautiful Game of Thrones ambience music and this impulse-fic (?) happened.
> 
> Really, listen to it while reading:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgIYv8fG7Qk&t=22s 
> 
> Anyways...  
> Have fun? and please let me know what you think!
> 
> *sniffles for the millionth time*

Lee Minho, twenty-two, the third son of King Lee Kanghoon, has a little over two weeks and one hell of a journey to the other side of the peninsula left until he gets married off to the daughter of a wealthy nobleman, only to never return home.

He has tried everything, from that one time he went on a hunger strike when he was sixteen to deliberately tarnishing his own name the years following to make it so that no one would even deem him worthy to marry, but it has done nothing. 

It’s sad and he has spent years and years protesting and begging but there’s nothing he can do anymore other than request a companion to keep him company during the trip. His father has been so kind to agree for once, probably to ease some of his own guilt for ruining his son’s happiness.

Naturally, that person is Han Jisung, the second son of one of the generals.

Minho doesn’t have a lot of memories he’d label ‘fun’ – his childhood more filled with rigid banquets, stupid lessons on etiquette and the occasional fight with his brothers – but very few he did have all involve Jisung in one way or another.

Most of the them revolve around the younger doing something dumb or stupid and making Minho laugh like there’s no tomorrow. At this point, he can safely say that Jisung is one of the very few aspects in his life that make living worthwhile. There just is something about Jisung that makes Minho feel alive in every sense and he can’t really pinpoint what it is, but he knows it has something to do with the boy’s loud and warm nature.

So now that Minho is on the verge of leaving with no return, well on his way to getting locked up in yet another golden cage, he wants to be able to feel alive for as long as possible.  
But when Minho requests for the younger to join him, Jisung stays uncharacteristically quiet and Minho can feel his heart squeeze painfully when the younger looks at him like he's the cruellest person to ever walk this planet. Minho understands but he wants to be selfish for a little bit longer until he can't anymore. 

Asking this of Jisung is cruel in the way that Minho is surrounded by two personal guards and one of the royal maids, because it is near impossible for the younger to turn him down like this. It’s a deliberate move on Minho’s part to have people with him and it makes him feel horrible that he has resorted to doing that, purely so that Jisung wouldn’t dare to decline the request from the third prince.

It would be more than rude and far from respectful and some would even say that it would be treason. So really, Jisung doesn’t have a choice whether he likes it or not.

But if Minho would ask when it was just the two of them, Jisung would probably say no for obvious reasons, one of them definitely being self-protection. 

The older feels bad when Jisung agrees but it is what it is and really, he doesn’t think he can’t part until he physically gets dragged inside his new home.

Time passes too quickly for Minho’s liking – countless of dreadful and unexpected lonely nights - and suddenly he finds himself getting escorted to the carriage with guards lined up to his left and right all the way to the vehicle. 

Jisung is already standing there in an attire that reminds Minho of the king’s assassins, eyes trained on the ground in front of his feet with his hand gripping onto the sword hanging from his hip and cheeks puffy in the way they always are right after the boy wakes up.

Minho inwardly grimaces as he slowly makes his way over because he knows that he will never wake up to those again, neither will Jisung wake up to butterfly-like kisses on his temples or nose.

Their eyes meet and all Minho can see is something heart wrenching in the younger’s eyes and he halts for a mere second, realising that he could have held the same look if the roles had been reversed.

It feels like Jisung has gotten the short end of the stick, but has he _really?_. It’s something they will never know.

He continues his way and lets the annoying trumpets get drowned out. He has learned to do that quite effortlessly over the years.

Suddenly, Minho notices Kihyun standing next to Jisung, smiling gently at him.

It’s not a surprise that of all of the family Minho has around, his oldest brother is the only one to send him off. His father has never particularly payed much attention to him, simply because he was the third one and far from important so him not being present is expected. His second brother, Jun, is nowhere to be found either and it actually saddens Minho that even till the last moment, they can’t make it up and part on good terms.

Kihyun’s husband, Hyunwoo, isn’t here either for as far as Minho can see but he doesn’t really care all that much. He doesn’t really know the man, neither is he really close to him so he can’t say he misses his presence. Though, he had hoped the man would be here because Minho knows that Kihyun is having a difficult time.

It’s sad, really, how his oldest brother is totally in love with the man and that Hyunwoo doesn’t seem to see Kihyun other than _duty_. He feels bad leaving his brother behind to deal with it on his own because Kihyun won’t do anything about it, neither will he let anyone other than Minho in when it comes to the topic.

He fears that the lovely Kihyun will start to wilt the moment Minho’s gone – Kihyun is one of the very few in the castle that actually has a heart - and all he can do is hope that someone will step up and be there for him.

Minho already knows that it is okay for him to have hope when he sees Kihyun sneakily slipping a hand out of his large, flowy sleeve. Others probably don’t notice but Minho can clearly see how Kihyun gently takes a hold of Jisung’s hand, taking a step closer and hiding their intertwined fingers behind them and out of sight.

Minho isn’t sure whether he has reached out for Jisung purely to find comfort himself, or if it was a move to comfort Jisung instead.

Their goodbye is cordial and almost cold. However, Minho knows that it is like that because all eyes are on them and Kihyun is the next king after all and can’t really go about crying just because his little brother goes off to marry. 

What picture would that paint for the future of the country and the mental strength of their king?

So it’s really just a quick goodbye before Minho gets in and settles.

From where he’s sitting in the carriage, Minho has a good view of the pair still outside and he sees Kihyun hugging Jisung tightly, seemingly muttering words into his ear as the younger nods against his shoulder.

Kihyun might as well be Jisung’s brother as well with how much time they have spend together. It was almost impossible not to with how Minho and Jisung had been glued to each other’s sides ever since Jisung was four and Minho six.

The two pull back and Minho’s heart melts when Kihyun gently runs his hand through Jisung’s hair, the latter nodding when Kihyun’s lips move again.

For a second Minho wonders who is getting send off now but then again, Kihyun has always been caring like that, thinking of the people who are in the shadows. Jisung is very much in the shadows in this whole situation even though the sun is literally reflecting off of his beautiful golden hair and tan skin. 

The first two days, things are awkward.

It’s just Minho and Jisung in the carriage and even though the younger was technically here with Minho to make sure the journey seemed a bit less boring, Jisung sits as still as a statue and only unfreezes to play with the tassel dangling from the hilt of his sword. 

Jisung seems to make it his mission to avoid Minho’s eyes and even though the latter knows that Jisung can feel him staring, he can’t look away. It’s like he’s dead-set on burning the image of the younger into his brain to the best of his abilities to make sure he will never forget about the slope of his nose, or the arch of his upper lip, or the faint scar running through his eyebrow, or the curly eyelashes brushing his cheeks whenever he blinks. 

There are a lot more things Minho is going to miss so for the first two days, Minho makes sure that he will never forget all of those things.

On the third day, it rains and thunders and Jisung flinches with every flash of lightning even though they sit dry and relatively dry inside. The younger has always been scared of it for as long as Minho can remember but if there was one thing good that came out of that fear, it was that it had resulted in a lot of cuddles and pillow fights. 

To this day, Minho can still vividly remember how Jisung had fallen off of Minho’s bed one afternoon after a brutal boom and how the weather had taken a turn for the worst. Nine-year-old Jisung had actually cried and wouldn’t stop doing so until they had hidden away under a rack of clothes Minho’s huge closet, wrapped up in a huge blanket and each other.

Minho is the only one who knows about it because if word got out that the general’s son was scared of just some plain old thunderstorm, the boy’s father would definitely make sure that there were other things more pressing for Jisung to be scared off.

Like the general’s heavy hands, to put it gently.

Also something no one else but Minho – and Kihyun - knows about.

There’s another flash of lightning and this time Jisung actually yelps. He shoots Minho one fearful look before he pulls his legs up and against his chest, curling up on himself in a way that makes the boy look tiny and vulnerable.

It goes on and on for hours until they reach one of the bigger settlements along the way, the guards completely drenched and shivering. The weather has let up by then but Jisung is trembling away on his own and Minho wants to do nothing more but wrap the boy in his arms and tell him that everything is fine.

He can’t, because the guards are seemingly done changing already.

‘’Jisung,’’ Minho finally whispers out, four days after they had set off, because he simply can’t do this anymore.

The younger’s head snaps up and his eyes are blown wide, but in a split second, they mist over, ‘’Y-yes, your highness?,’’

Minho had expected it, but it still hurts to hear the younger address him like that.

_’’Min! Let go of me you asshole! I know you are awake so stop pretending you’re still asleep hyung,’’_

So he says to hell with it and after taking a quick peek outside to see if any of the guards trudging next to the carriage on their horses have taken to peeking inside, Minho reaches out and takes Jisung’s hands in his own.

For a second Minho can see the boy tense but then he relaxes. Minho thinks that things are fine but then Jisung hangs his head, his hair covering his eyes, and he can see tiny drops falling onto the boy’s lap.

Minho is tempted to pull the younger closer but he doesn’t know whether that’s only going to do more damage than not, so he settles for running his thumb over the back of Jisung’s hand in hopes it will provide some comfort.

It seems to do quite the opposite and it isn’t long until Jisung pulls his hand away and hides his face in his hands as the sniffles morph into sobbing. 

This was a bad idea.

He had picked the wrong time to be selfish and he becomes painfully aware of that when all he can do is look on as Jisung cries his heart out, shaking like a leaf and pressing himself into a corner. The guilt is greater than anything else and it seeps into the cracks of Minho’s steadily breaking heart.

‘’I’m sorry my love,’’

The words only make Jisung cry harder.

It’s a little over one week into the trip when Jisung seems to be too tired to keep it up. It feels like a one-second decision to Minho when Jisung suddenly goes from gazing outside with a dull sheen over his eyes to looking sad, pulling the tiny curtain to block the only window to the outside.

Minho barely has any time to get startled before Jisung carefully but purposefully gets up and takes two wobbly steps – they are currently going over a bumpy road – towards him. 

The younger slips onto his lap the same moment their lips meet and Minho is baffled for a split second before his hands find the younger’s hips.

The kiss is slow but Minho can feel the desperation in it and he is sure that Jisung notices how it sparks just as much desperation in Minho when the latter pries Jisung’s lips apart and tugs him closer. It doesn’t take long for Minho to notice that the sudden saltiness on his lips and tongue are the result of Jisung’s tears, but he isn’t too sure because his own cheeks feel suspiciously damp as well.

For the rest of the bumpy road, it is frantic grabbing and tugging, harsh panting, needy whines and low groans and even though it isn’t something new – far from it -, Minho feels like he learns about Jisung all over again like he is nineteen all over again.

Even though it is the last time.

Minho is well aware what goes on in Jisung’s head so it hadn’t come as a shock to him when the younger had started to distance himself as soon as Minho’s upcoming marriage had become official. 

Sure, they had shared some sneaky kisses every now and then but the rather adult sleepovers and secret messages had gradually come to a stop. Surprisingly, it had been Jisung who had been the one to call it quits for the sake of Minho’s future departure even though Minho was the more level-headed one of the two.

Minho understood but it had made everything seem so much more real. He had hoped that he could have stayed in a Jisung-shaped bubble until he had absolutely no choice anymore. It had been his whole reason to drag Jisung along with him even though he knew that it wasn’t the way Jisung wanted things to go.

Still, as he wakes up from a short nap with Jisung curled up on his lap and his head on the older’s chest, Minho can’t help but smile.

And for the first time in a long time, Minho feels happy again, like things have somewhat gone back to normal, like they are actually sitting underneath Minho’s favourite three in the royal gardens where they are hidden away from prying eyes.

They fall back into their old pattern of Jisung sneaking into his room every night – something that has become easier yet more difficult now that they sleep in fancy inns and houses of acquaintances of the Royal family – and Minho almost feels like he is touring the country for fun.

They don’t talk a whole lot during the rest of the gruelling trip but Minho is fine with that as long as they acknowledge each other and the fact that they get to spend every moment out of sight of others together.

It’s on the sixteenth day that they reach the city.

Jisung’s eyes dull again as soon as the castle comes into view and it serves as a harsh reminder to Minho that this is the end of the dream. 

It actually feels like the past three to four years have been just something he made up when he carefully climb out of the carriage and does this whole show of greeting the King and Queen and their two daughters, the oldest one being his wife in about a week.

He feels Jisung’s eyes on the back of his head during the whole thing and Minho actually trembles when he takes his wife-to-be’s hand and leaves a quick kiss on the back of her hand.

It feels incredibly wrong.

The carriage will stay here with Minho and the guards and Jisung will get back on the horses. Minho’s heart aches when he thinks of Jisung riding through rain and possibly snow – winter is just around the corner – and all he wants to do is keep the younger safe and warm next to him, but he can’t. Not anymore.

This is as far as they’ll get and as Minho’s bride-to-be and parents-in-law turn away to give him some privacy as they let him say goodbye to his entourage, the older has to withhold himself from grabbing onto Jisung and kissing his lips raw.

Instead, he goes about it a bit more rational and cautious. 

Minho shoots a quick look back to see who is watching and finds that only his own guards – well, not his anymore now – are looking at them and he decides that he can risk it. They are sworn to secrecy anyways unless it has to do with the Royal family’s safety and in no way is Jisung a hazard.

So with that, the older grabs a hold of Jisung’s waist and pulls him closer before leaving a quick peck on his lips, and another, and another until one of the guards pulls Jisung out of his grip.

The younger looks terrified but Minho quickly realises that none of the guards seem upset or angry. No, all Minho can find is this heart wrenching look of empathy and the man holding onto Jisung actually pats the younger’s shoulder with a heavy sigh before gently dragging him to the others.

‘’Minho,’’

The older had made up his mind and had already turned away from Jisung, but the soft lilt the younger puts in his name is enough for him to turn back even though he knows that he shouldn’t. 

Tears well up almost instantly as he looks up to find Jisung sitting on – what used to be – Minho’s horse, the sun somewhere behind him and casting a beautiful glow around the boy. He looks like an angel like that and Minho can’t come up with anyone more cut out for the role if heaven was ever looking for one.

Not now, though.

No.

Jisung has to live his life to the fullest, finding happiness with someone by his side. He needs to grow old and look back on his life with a feeling of satisfaction. 

Minho knows that he himself isn’t going to get that – not without Jisung – but one of them has to get their happy ending and it falls on Jisung.

Minho’s hand moves on his own and he gently runs it over Jisung’s knee, taking a step closer before letting his head fall against the younger’s leg. Finger’s run through his hair and he lets out a content sigh before a cloud of melancholy settles heavy around them.

‘’I’ll miss you,’’ Jisung whispers and Minho actually winces by the pure pain dripping off the words and he buries his head into the younger’s thigh even more, ‘’I love you,’’

It’s incredibly unfair for Jisung to say something like that even though it’s completely justified.

He hears Jisung let out a shaky sigh and the fingers suddenly disappear from his hair. Minho looks up and sees Jisung looking down on him with a fake smile and the older smiles back just as fabricated. 

Suddenly the younger leans down and the kiss on Minho’s forehead lingers in away that tells him that this is really it. Still, it all seems too quick when Jisung pulls away and straightens up on the horse.

And all Minho can do is reach out and take a hold of Jisung’s hand to leave a similar kiss on the back of his hand. He can’t help but let his lips travel to the boy’s wrist, down the palm of his hand and to every single one of his fingers.

They tremble but there is nothing Minho can do about it.

‘’We have to get going Han,’’ one of the guards interrupts, his voice soft yet commanding like he’s torn between giving them a bit more time and doing his job.

Minho reluctantly lets Jisung’s hand slip from his own and dares to look back up one more time, seeing a single tear slip away from the younger’s eyes.

‘’I love you too Sungie. Always have and always will,’’

It feels like everything moves slower when Jisung and the guards finally prompt their horses to get moving.

Minho wishes that the past twenty-two years had been that slow. He could’ve had so much more time to bathe in all the happy little moments that Jisung had sprinkled around.

But instead, the moment he really gets to take everything in so detailed comes with the most heart-breaking moment in his life. It’s taunting him in a way that makes him want to scream at the world and curse fate for playing like this, for putting them so close together but making sure that there still is this huge gap.

It’s unfair, but there is nothing Minho can do about it but hope that in time, he can get strong enough, that he is capable of making sure that this will be the only time he feels like the ground is disappearing from under his feet.

He should’ve ran when he had the chance. _They_ should have ran when they had the chance.

But it’s too late to regret now.

The only thing left for Minho is to keep his head high and shoulders straight as the sound of hoofs meeting cobblestones grows duller and duller by the second.

‘’Godspeed, my love,’’ Minho whispers into the wind as Jisung’s figure gets smaller and smaller, the tears in his eyes making his vision blurry, ‘’May we meet again,’’

He desperately hopes they do.

Even if it’s on the other side.


End file.
